Other People’s Children

ATTENTION PARENTS OF LONDON- Here is a list of people outside your family and very close friends who care about stories about your children- -Santa -God -Jimmy Saville   I recently made a trip to Hong Kong to visit my sister, her husband and my beautiful-angelic-possibly-most-handsome-boy-in-the-world nephew. I had not seen this likely-to-be-a-genius 2 year … Continue reading Other People’s Children

Daddy Issues. Yours, Not Mine. 

Tastes change. Fashions come and go. Skirts get longer. Trousers get shorter. But there's one trend in the gay scene that seems to have surpassed all of gay society's fashion faux pas- Daddy Issues. This patriarchal idea that men just keep getting better with age. Hugh Jackman, George Clooney, Alec Bawldwin (shit, maybe they are … Continue reading Daddy Issues. Yours, Not Mine. 

Tinder Timber. (That’s a sex joke)

Last Friday the guy doing my new bathroom locked me out of my own flat. He wasn't waiting for me inside (we've all seen that movie....... another sex joke), he just locked the bottom lock when he left that day and I don't have that key. So I was stranded in Hackney with no where … Continue reading Tinder Timber. (That’s a sex joke)

How Vain Is Too Vain? (Asking for a friend)

Here is a list of things that double up as mirrors- Windows Glass doors Other things made of glass Glass Forks Spoons (note, you may appear upside down) Forks Knives Cutlery you don't know the name of Picture frames (if you blur out the picture of your nephew) Your phone's selfie camera Other windows Really … Continue reading How Vain Is Too Vain? (Asking for a friend)